Missing Him

When I viewed this...I just boo-hoo'd.

This is what I miss most about the absence of my husband.

Sure the characters are much older, but this was our life before he left. Cooking with JOY in the kitchen and sharing it with those we wished to befriend.
I miss him and these lost moments in our present.

Things Mama Said

Mom (age 76) gives pretty good advice. Believe what you want.....and laugh at the rest. What follows is advice given for generations. Old fashioned and objectionable, but it true just the same. If it sounds "dumbed downed" it's because she was talking to me when I was 6-12.

"It takes years to earn a good reputation.......but it can be ruined in one night of passion."

"Never worship your husband....he'll despise you for it."

"If a man treats you badly, he's trying to drive you away." (don't stick around)

"Be a lady if it kills you."

"When a woman walks out that door...(of her home) .....the devil comes in and takes her children."

"Don't date a man more then 2 times....because on the 3rd date...he'll EXPECT sex."

"Never let a man conquer you....because then it's his nature to destroy."

"You can never be friends with a man." (he has all the male friends he needs...unless you have a cute friend he's trying to date...otherwise...a female being his friend doesn't make sense to him)

"Smokers become beggars, borrowers, liars and thieves." (they want to borrow a smoke, then beg for it. Then they steal one from your pack and lie about taking it)

"Don't sleep with a man you wouldn't marry....because if you sleep with him....I expect you to marry him!"

"Don't marry your MISTAKE." (even if your pregnant)

"If you have sex out of wedlock....you'll either get a disease or a baby."

"To show you love your man.....give him admiration, attention and a good meal."

"If your husband tries to get you out into the working world because of a debt he has incured....DON'T.....because then he will spend your money too....and your debt will be TWICE AS MUCH." (with no way out)

"It's not the soup." (that's if your man is grumpy at dinner...and says something hateful)

"If a man hits you once.....he'll keep on hitting you until YOU put a stop to it. Never allow him to hit you the first time." (and here's a gun if he does....don't worry...daddy will bury him in the backyard)

"When your husband is quiet and doesn't want to talk.....leave him alone. Fix him a plate of snacks...lay today's newspaper next to him and then go window shopping."

"Anyone who thinks gambling is fun....is a fool."

"If your man wants some at night....roll over and give it to him. It will be over soon. If you pretend to be asleep...he'll bug you for hours....and you'll never get your rest."

"When poverty comes through the door, love goes out the window."

"Staying in a marriage that is bad for you is not noble...it's foolish."

"A woman won't leave a GOOD man." (if there's a man whose wife left him....there is something you are not aware of)

"If your husband threatens DIVORCE....tell him..."Fine. You get the kids cause I don't want them hanging on my skirt when I look for a better man then you." That will stop that threat!

"Keep a separate account from your husbands. You're going to need that money if he makes a huge financial mistake." (and never tell him about it....or he'll go to the bank and take it out)

"Have enough money saved to bury you."

"Anyone can love a kitten or puppy. A true kind & compassionate heart is shown with how a person treats other PEOPLE."

"Don't use credit cards. It's the Devil's handy work."

"Keep your home clean and cook good food for your family. That's what most men want."

"Don't be afraid to buy yourself something nice like jewelry. Sometimes...it's all a woman gets out of the marriage if it goes bad."

"If you need a divorce.....I've got the money.....BUT you will pay me back!" (because your sisters might need it)

"Never owe anyone... anything."

"I only have one regret in my marriage. I didn't serve your father on the China he bought me... except on holidays. I wish I had used it more."

"If your man or his relatives call you fat when you're not...show him how FAT you can get."

"Anyone who drinks before 5:00 pm is an alcoholic."

"After your last child...get your tubes tied. Because a man may try to get you pregnant if he's mad at you."

"If your husband gives something away of yours to a friend....go in his closet and give something away of his to her husband. "

"Sometimes....you've got to protect your children from your husband's temper. Make sure he'll have to go through you to get to them." (but make sure he doesn't get through you)

"Make sure your daughters can support themselves. They may decide marriage isn't for them."

"If you want to get grown children out of your house......treat them like they are 5.. .. with many rules....and they will want FREEDOM and leave."

"Don't stay with a man that treats his dog better then your kids."

"No man is bigger then a bullet."

"How a man treats his woman shows if he loves her or not."

"Stay your hell out of the stock market. The big companies dump their bad stock on the little guy who wants to sit at the big table, and the little guy loses everything and wonders what happened."

"A man that doesn't take care of his family's basic needs is a 30 year time bomb that goes off on his grandchildren. "

"You better teach your kids right, or they will dump your grand kids on your doorstep to raise."

There you have it. Advice from strong women who never fell victim to abusive men and had great marriages and happy kids....who were all successful...well, if they followed it!

My Mom's Body

Just before getting into the shower, I looked into the mirror and saw my mom's body.
The line between my neck and torso. The slightly lower bumps and bulges. The double chin.
Of course, I weight more then mama, but the way everything shifted...yep...it was her looking back at me. It's not like I can turn the clock back either!!
YIKES!

20 Years

20 years. Twenty years of marriage.

At times, it seems like a million years. Other times, as brief as five.
Only the kid's ages remind me of how long we've been together. I look at them as they tower above me and wonder where the time has gone. Was it really 16 years ago when we added AJ to our family? Is Dan really 13 now? Funny thing, it doesn't bother me that I'm marching toward 45. I've felt so ancient for so long, 45 seems younger then I've been feeling. Of course, the husband is getting closer to 50 and that does seem ancient. LOL

You know what is really an eyeopener? When we were in our 20's, the other couples in our group were in their 40s. NOW, they are in their 60s! Where did the time go? Will I blink and be 60?
Probably.

The only thing incredibly sad about this day is the fact we aren't together....and haven't been for some time. 20 years should have held a celebration of some sort. But instead I'll be going to bed early, saying a prayer for his safety and putting the cats on his side of the bed.

Just another ordinary day.

Which is More Thrilling?

I've had three thrills today.

#1 I freshened up the wooden pine kitchen table & chairs with a product that covers all of the scratches they have endured for 16 years and the set looks like new!

#2 I brought in my herbs from the garden and placed them into pots so I'll have fresh herbs in the winter! (and a bit of green color in my kitchen)

#3 I just received a box of new books that I'm dying to read!

What would thrill you the most?

Modern Day Casandra

As early as 2006/07, Peter Schiff was telling Americans to be wary of the Stock Market and that our economy would be going into a deep recession lasting for years. He warned about the housing bubble/lending practices and overvalued stocks. Many laughed at him, saying house prices would increase by 10% and to buy into the financials. Companies who are no longer around, or deeply discounted....because something happened in 2008 around October. Remember that whole meltdown thing?

So...why listen to this gloom and doom guy?
Simple.
He's been right.
Not that THAT gives me any comfort.
Why? Just look at his future predictions.

Swine Flu

Funny the reactions of some people when it comes to swine flu/H1N1. You'll have those who panic and others who call it "hype" and don't take it seriously at all. I would like to think I'm in the middle. I'm fearful enough of it to take it seriously, but not panicked when my kid gets sick.

Five weeks ago, Dan had it and it lasted 2 full weeks. I knew something was up when after day four, he didn't get better but went downhill.
Symptoms: runny nose, severe headache but a fever that never went over 99, body aches - especially large muscle areas like legs, discoloration/paleness in the face and sore throat. He didn't want to watch TV or play on the computer...he just wanted to lay down and sleep. He lost 8 pounds. I kept track of his lungs with a stethoscope I purchased from Walgreen's months ago and as long as his lungs stayed clear, I didn't panic. I was prepared with medicines, masks and doctors available.

Then, he got better, but couldn't play select soccer as well as he was out of breath within five minutes of being on the field. This told the coach how bad he felt, since Dan lives for soccer. It took 2 full weeks for him to get back to normal, until yesterday at 4 pm.

Now, he's in bed with a 102 temperature, dry cough, runny nose and headache. This concerned me greatly, because the kids who have died from this who did not have underlying conditions had been ones who had it, then it returned with fever and trouble breathing. They were dead within two days. So, I packed Dan up last night and we went to the emergency room. The doctor believes this too is H1N1, but didn't do the swab test.

Why not? Because up to 50% of those tests are coming back FALSE NEGATIVE. (and they were expensive for the hospital if not paid/covered by the uninsured) This deeply concerned the ER doctor as he knew kids were in school who had it, but didn't think they did because the test said they didn't. He also mentioned that he hasn't seen any regular flu come in yet...it's all been H1N1.
Wanting to verify his news from last night, I found a few articles on this false negatives.
Here is one: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/SwineFluNews/rapid-flu-test-insensitive-h1n1/story?id=8665576

So....if your kid has allergy like symptoms (runny nose, headache, sore throat) but doesn't have a fever, that doesn't mean you are in the clear. If your kid "looks" sick, he probably is...so don't dismiss it. If you got your kid tested and relied on the rapid test that came back negative, there's a fifty percent chance it's a false negative....so don't dismiss your kid when he says he feels bad. He is probably not faking it. This may be the reason it is spreading so quickly, people are sick and don't even know it.

Here are articles on the "no fever" part.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/13/health/13fever.html

http://www.examiner.com/x-8543-SF-Health-News-Examiner~y2009m5d14-Troubling-sign-No-fever-odd-symptoms-in-many-swine-flu-cases


I have written this post hoping to inform parents out there who don't have time to keep track of this. In my own circle of friends, to often, the other mothers I've talked too are VERY DISMISSIVE about this disease. They belittle my efforts of being prepared and tease me of over reacting. I don't take it personally, but I fear for THEIR KIDS with this ill-informed opinion. They aren't paying attention and may be shocked if their own kid takes a terrible turn landing them in the hospital. They will then turn to those around them and say: "Who knew? No one told us about no fevers or false tests!"
So....I'm telling you.

If your kid says he is sick, look closely at him and remember a fever isn't always present. The big give away with Dan was he looked sick, especially around the mouth in his paleness and the way his body and head hurt. The runny nose/sore throat was the thing the doctor took notice of. Even the test telling you they don't have it, may be wrong. You may only have your "mom" gut feeling to make the call....so listen to it. Don't send your kid to school if he is feeling terrible. It's not fair to him, and not fair to the other kids who will now be exposed to it.

This disease is taking it's toll on our children.
If you are prepared, you won't be panicked when your kid gets it.
Here is a list of things to purchase NOW, before so many people get H1N1, that it clears out your local drug store. (then you WILL panic, because you can't get the things you need)

My recommended list:

Tylenol and Motrin (to bring down fever & help with pain in other places)
Stethoscope (to listen to lungs)
Anti-diarrhea med (although we haven't used it yet)
Theraflu (cough expectorant)
NyQuil at night if the lungs are clear. (this is what I used for 2 weeks)
Kleenex (the softest you can find)
VITAMIN D and C
Steam inhaler (for cough/cold)
Masks
Sanitizing wipes
Liquids/Water/Sport drinks